Fertility and infertility are still surrounded by stigma, leaving many people feeling isolated, especially when facing the emotional toll of sub-fertility. Around 1 in 6 couples struggle to conceive, with many experiencing depression, and 42% reporting suicidal thoughts.
We spoke to Kate Davies, Fertility Nurse Consultant at YourFertilityJourney.com and Dennis Relojo-Howell, founder of psychology site Psychreg and member of the British Psychological Society. Together, they answer common questions and share advice on coping with the psychological effects of fertility challenges.
How does infertility affect mental health?
Infertility can affect mental health in deeply personal and often unexpected ways. From the shock of diagnosis to the emotional toll of ongoing treatment, it’s common to experience anxiety, low mood, and a loss of confidence. Both men and women may feel guilt, shame or isolation, which can impact everyday life and relationships.
Romantic relationships often feel the strain, too. Fertility struggles introduce emotional and physical challenges that can be hard to navigate as a couple, especially when communication becomes difficult.
Fertility treatments themselves can also be mentally taxing. Hormonal changes during IVF, for instance, are linked to higher levels of stress and depression. As psychologist Dennis Relojo-Howell explains, there’s a bidirectional link as infertility can affect mental health, and poor mental health can also impact fertility outcomes. Recognising this connection is the first step toward finding the right support.
Tips on looking after your mental health throughout fertility issues
1. Be open with your partner
Infertility can be difficult for anyone to talk about, but many men still find it especially hard to express how they feel. Honest, open conversations as a couple can ease some of the emotional pressure, so try to create space where both of you feel heard.
There are now more dedicated resources than ever to support men through fertility struggles. The Easy Bit is a powerful short film featuring six men sharing their stories to help others speak up. The Male Fertility Podcast, explores various aspects of male fertility. Online groups like NeXYs Fertility continue to grow in 2025, offering male-only spaces for open discussion, guidance and community.
The rise of social media fertility influencers and campaigns like #MenTalkFertility are also making an impact, normalising conversation, challenging stigma, and reminding people they’re not alone. But while awareness is improving, the real shift begins with open dialogue at home.
2. Talk to your family and friends
Talking frankly and openly about things we consider taboo is the only way to break them. It shares the mental load, and it’s only once you’ve started to talk about a topic that you can start to uncover the support system around you that’s willing to help.
Stigma and taboo still play a huge part in the link between infertility and mental health problems. This is especially clear when it comes to pregnancy loss. Recent research showed that the tendency is not to talk about early pregnancy loss at all, especially in the first 12 weeks, when people have not revealed to those close to them that they are pregnant.
The idea that you shouldn’t talk about pregnancy until after 12 weeks is, unfortunately, serving only to silence women and couples further, making it more difficult to get the help they need.
3. Remember you’re not alone
The staggering statistics speak for themselves: a survey by Fertility Network UK found that 90% of women and men struggling with fertility problems reported feeling depressed. 50% said that they felt out of control and frustrated, helpless, sad, fearful and worried. Most worryingly, 42% said they had had suicidal thoughts.
Mental health issues don’t only revolve around women trying to conceive. A study from Imperial College London found that out of the women who experienced pregnancy loss, 29% had symptoms of post-traumatic stress, 24% had anxiety, and 12% had depression.
4. Seek counselling
While access to mental health support during fertility struggles can still be limited, especially early on, there are valuable options available, many of which people find incredibly helpful.
Fertility clinics often provide counselling once treatment begins, and although this might be limited, it can be a useful first step. You might also consider privately funded counselling or fertility coaching to explore your emotions more deeply with someone who understands the journey.
Many women and couples also find strength and reassurance by connecting with others through online or local support groups. Fertility Network UK offers a welcoming community and trusted resources to help you feel less alone. More recently, social media platforms have become a go-to place for fertility support.
5. Practice self-care
Fertility challenges can be emotionally draining and impact how you see yourself. That’s why self-care isn’t just a luxury. It’s a vital way to protect your mental health and remind yourself that you’re still deserving of kindness and care.
Creating a simple self-care routine can build emotional resilience and give you space to reset. It doesn’t have to be complicated, just something that helps you feel grounded and supported. You might try:
- Yoga or gentle movement
- Meditation or deep breathing exercises
- A relaxing bath
- Getting outside for a walk or run
- Cooking nourishing meals
- Journaling your thoughts and feelings
Even small acts of self-care can make a big difference when life feels overwhelming.
Facing infertility is never easy, and it’s completely normal to find it emotionally challenging. If you’re having a tough time, be kind to yourself and don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Many others are going through similar experiences, and there are communities out there to offer guidance, comfort and connection.
Where to seek help:
Fertility Network UK is the number one charity for anyone experiencing fertility problems in the UK. They run a range of local online support groups.
NeXYs Fertility is a website dedicated to supporting men who have been diagnosed with fertility issues
The British Infertility Counselling Association (BICA) offers a range of specialist counselling services.
Search on Facebook for “fertility support groups” – there are many, and those which have thousands of members are likely to have the best reputations.
HFEA, the government regulator, provides free, clear and impartial information on UK fertility clinics, IVF and other types of fertility treatment, and donation.
The Male Fertility Podcast is a podcast hosted by and for men who have experienced fertility issues. The podcast includes interviews with experts and guests sharing their experiences, aiming to break the stigma around discussing men’s fertility.
Big Fat Negative is a popular fertility podcast and online community that offers honest conversations, shared experiences, and a supportive space for anyone navigating infertility or fertility treatment.
