Why ‘love languages’ are the key to conceiving, according to fertility expert

4 min
Updated Oct 31st, 2023

Table of contents

1 in 7 couples have difficulty conceiving – learn how to speak your partner’s love language and rekindle your connection.

Trying for a baby can be very taxing, and even emotionally overwhelming if a couple is having fertility difficulties. According to the NHS, around one in seven couples will have difficulty conceiving* their first child. During this difficult time, it’s vital that couples support each other and maintain a healthy sex life – which is where love languages come in.

Fertility Family, fertility supplement specialists, spoke to Trudy Hannington – Senior Psychosexual Therapist and former Chair of the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) – to gain expert insight into how love languages can help couples trying to conceive. 

What are love languages?

People place more or less value on acts of love or tokens of affection from their partners, preferring some over others. In effect, people understand different love languages.

There are five love languages:

  • Physical contact
  • Words of affirmation
  • Gifts
  • Acts of service
  • Quality time

In any relationship, it’s crucial that both partners understand the love language of their other half, showing them love in the way they want to feel it. 

Failure to grasp a partner’s language can result in them feeling unheard or unloved. It can also lead to conflict and stress – and stress lowers the chances of conceiving.

However, showing a true understanding of your partner’s love language is a simple and effective way to strengthen a bond – at exactly the right time.

How can you use love languages within your relationship?

Trudy Hannington reveals how to identify love languages, their benefits and what they mean in practice.

A recent study** showed ‘matching on love languages was associated with both relationship and sexual satisfaction’. If you’re enjoying sex, then the more you’ll want to have it, improving your chances of conceiving.

If you don’t have a gut feeling about what your love language is (or what your partner’s is), you can take an online test. And you should both do this. After all, every one of these languages can make us feel loved, but it’s important to discover what makes your partner feel most loved or appreciated. Using that love language will be the most effective in bringing you closer together.

Don’t worry if you and your partner’s love languages don’t match. This just means applying a bit more effort to meet your partner’s love language needs. 

Here are some tips on what using each language might look like:

Gifts: putting real thought into gifts for occasions, or just buying flowers when you’re at the supermarket

Physical contact: focusing on non-sexual contact, holding hands when walking or cosying up on the sofa

Acts of service: cooking dinner for your partner, taking the bins out or making them tea in the morning

Quality time: taking a walk without phones, going for a weekly date night

Words of affirmation: complementing your partner, telling them why you love them




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